What are Viable Public School Alternatives for my Child?

According to recent polls, only 73% of US parents were satisfied with their children’s quality of education in public schools. With that barely passing score, it’s no wonder that so many of them are now seeking public school alternatives!

Have you ever wondered if your little learner might be better off in a different environment?

If so, you’ve come to the right place. Read on to learn about different ways to help your kid learn and thrive outside of district schools.

 

Private Education

If you’re frustrated with the level of education that district schools offer, with an intense focus on standardized testing and little else, this is the perfect place to start your search for alternatives.

Private education options offer a more well-rounded curriculum with a greater focus on academic success. And, in many cases, a more supportive environment for creative kids.

If you think your child would thrive with more personalized attention, better-qualified educators, and an improved learning environment, you should look into the private school admissions process.

 

Charter Schools

If you aren’t entirely sold on private schooling but feel that your child’s current public school enrollment isn’t cutting it, charter schools might be your best bet.

These schools offer programs for k-12 students, with fewer requirements than public campuses. And, because they aren’t state or government-run, they don’t have to put the same focus on standardized testing. Simply put, they’re the happy medium between public and private education.

 

Boarding and Military Academies

Some families opt for homeschooling options to help educate challenging children or instill specific values. But, these alternatives lack socialization and can leave some kids feeling isolated.

Instead, consider a boarding or military education, where your child will live on campus surrounded by their peers.

These campuses often offer a more rigorous or structured education, with classes that focus on manners, life skills, and higher education. Depending on the campus you select, this could include preparation for a military career, religious education, and subjects that public school doesn’t offer.

 

Homeschooling

Kids
Kids are learning to write in their home environment

You know the old saying – if you want something done right, do it yourself.

There are few guarantees when it comes to your kid’s upbringing and education, especially if you aren’t around to see what and how they are learning. Homeschooling offers parents the highest level of control, from structure and schedule to exercise, curriculum, and more.

Homeschooling also allows parents to break away from some public school offerings that may not be in keeping with their religious, social, or political beliefs.

 

The Best Public School Alternatives

With this article as your guide, you’re ready to research a few different public school alternatives and decide which best suits your family.

Don’t forget to weigh a few pros and cons, including your child’s learning style, daily commute, other logistical challenges, and your household budget. And, be sure to tour every campus you’re considering before making a change.

Did you find this article informative? If so, don’t miss out on the rest of our homepage! We’ve got all the internet’s hottest tips on home, health, parenting, and much more!

 

5 Essential Baby Products for First-Time Parents

Did you know that close to 3.6 million babies are born each year in the United States of America? Parenting isn’t easy, and it is especially difficult when you’re a first-time parent trying to learn about all of the baby products that you need. The list is often daunting and a tad overwhelming, but getting natural baby products is essential for your newborn’s health.

Baby diapers and other reusable products for babies go a long way towards providing the care that your baby needs while also protecting the environment. If you’re unsure of which baby wipes to get or which baby hair products are the best then you’re in luck.

You’ve come to the right place to learn about the five essential baby products that new parents need. Keep reading to learn more!

 

1. Baby Clothes

Baby clothes are much more important than giving your newborn a sense of style. Babies have delicate skin and need clothing that won’t irritate it or cause a baby rash. You also need to make sure that you’re getting the right sizes when it comes to baby clothes in order for your child to be comfortable.

 

2. Diapers

You can’t mention babies without conjuring up images of diapers, so it shouldn’t be surprising that diapers are high on the list of baby products you’ll need. It is up to you to decide if you want to use disposable diapers or reusable diapers for your newborn.

Remember to also get a baby product like baby wipes to prevent skin irritation and rashes. If you want to use natural baby wipes rather than traditional baby wipes then you should check out this substitute for baby wipes.

 

3. Car Seat

A car seat is essential for transporting your baby with you to doctor’s appointments as well as running essential errands throughout the week. There are infant car seats as well as convertible car seats that you can choose from, so don’t be afraid to shop around for the best option.

 

4. Crib and Mattress

Another necessary item when it comes to baby products is the crib and mattress that your baby will sleep in. A crib is the best option for your child after they outgrow their bassinet since it gives them more room to sleep or play. Make sure you get a comfortable mattress for the crib as well.

 

5. Baby Bathtub

Baby
A baby is having an enjoyable bath in a new baby bathtub

Giving a baby a bath is no easy task, but there are bathtubs designed especially for bathing your newborn. These tubs will make giving your baby a bath easier than you ever thought possible. They’re a must-have baby product for new parents.

 

Start Shopping for Baby Products Today

Getting the right baby products is a great way to provide the best care possible to your newborn after they arrive. Little things like a baby bathtub and baby hair products will make keeping your baby clean an easy task. You should also get a car seat and diapers for your newborn, and consider using natural baby products.

For more insightful and exciting articles, check out the rest of our blog posts!

 

5 Helpful Tips for Parenting a Child With Autism

1 in 44 American children will receive a diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder this year. That means 1 in 44 new parents will be thrust into an unfamiliar world filled with therapy, IEPs, meetings, treatments, and paperwork. While it may sound stressful, parenting a child with Autism can be a joyful, affirming experience.

Even so, you can’t expect to be a master at autism care at the very beginning of your journey! As with any skill or passion, practice and patience make perfect (though “perfection” should never be your goal!). Sometimes all it takes are a few parenting tips to help you find the beauty in living with autism. 

Are you ready to learn how to be a better parent to your autistic child? It’s not too late to become the parent you’re meant to be. Please keep reading to discover five of the tips that Autism parents wish they had at the start of their journey! 

1. All Behavior Is Communication

Whether your child is verbal or nonverbal, they have something to say. Every human being communicates through behavior, and we’ve gotten good at reading it.

Our autistic children tend to march to the beat of their own drum, and don’t always notice or practice common social cues. Thus, they communicate discomfort or sadness in the only language they have. Often, this behavior can resemble meltdowns or tantrums. 

Instead of getting frazzled, try to listen to what your child is telling you. Change the distressing environment, not your child!

2. Understand Ableism 

Ableism is discrimination—and you don’t have to be a bad person to fall into its trap! Ableism can be as simple as believing that verbal communication is superior to non-verbal or alternative communication. These deep, unconscious biases can impact the way we view children with autism.

Take some time to confront your existing ableist attitudes and watch how your view of the world transforms. 

3. Seek Out Community 

No man is an island, including autistic children and their parents! Children with autism thrive when they engage in socialization with neurodiverse peers. Ask your child’s therapists and teachers for recommendations and then befriend the parents!

 

4. Don’t Be Afraid of Therapy

“Therapy” can be a scary word, but it’s a major game-changer for children with autism. ABA therapy techniques utilize assistive technology, rewards systems, and games to help your child engage with the world around them. Your child’s therapists will become compassionate resources for life!

 

5. Remember That No Parent Is Perfect

Parent
A father is learning his daughter to draw and write

On days when you feel out to sea, remember that no parent is perfect—and that includes parents of neurotypical children! Everyone has good days and bad days, and all children come with unique challenges. If you care enough to seek out parenting advice, you are already doing an excellent job!

Parenting a Child With Autism… With Joy!

Parenting a child with autism is no easy task, but you can rise to the occasion! Even if you’ve been on this autism journey since you noticed the first signs of autism in your child, it’s never too late to work toward stronger and more compassionate parenting. Sometimes a slight shift in perspective can transform the way you view the world. 

Are you seeking more posts that can help you find joy in family life? Check out the rest of the blog for more brilliant tips for families. 

 

How to Thicken Baby Formula

Thickening baby formula can reduce the severity and frequency of regurgitation in infants. Parents of infants with persistent reflux, dysphagia, and aspiration may find that thickened formula helps manage these conditions.

Of course, you’ll always want to consult a doctor before changing your baby’s diet. If a doctor says your baby could benefit from a thickened formula, it would be safe to make the switch.

Here’s how to thicken baby formula safely.

What Not to Use

There’s one particular ingredient that parents shouldn’t use to thicken baby formula: flake cereal. This cereal will help thicken a baby formula that can reduce the severity or frequency of spit-up.

But the reason you don’t want to use cereal is that it can create a texture that causes issues. Flake cereal in baby formula can have a lumpy texture that makes it difficult for infants to swallow. It’s especially risky the younger a child is.

If the baby formula is too thick, it runs the risk of choking or aspiration. The risk is even more heightened for babies who have not developed the oral motor skills to swallow safely.

What to Use to Thicken Baby Formula

Luckily, you have a plethora of options of natural ingredients you can use to thicken baby formula. You can use rice cereal to help thicken baby formula. Unlike flake cereal, rice cereal will create a smooth texture that won’t increase the risk of aspiration or choking.

Other infant cereals like oatmeal and barley also make ideal thickeners for baby formula. When ground, oatmeal, and barley will also create the ideal smooth texture for thickening.

If you don’t want to use cereal, gelatin, guar gum, and carrageenan are great options. Starches like arrowroot, potato, tapioca, and cornstarch also make great thickeners. When it comes to these alternatives, be sure your baby does not have allergies before using them in a formula.

How to Thicken Baby Formula

You’ll want to start by blending your thickening agent thoroughly. The thickening agent should be the consistency of a fine powder to reduce any lumps in the baby formula.

Next, add your baby formula like this hipp organic baby formula to a bottle, cup, or bowl, and add 1½ teaspoons of the thickening agent for every ounce of formula.

Add the thickener slowly to reduce clumping and shake vigorously to ensure proper mixing. Give the mixture a few minutes to set up before checking the consistency. If it’s too thick, you can add a small amount of water, formula, or milk. 

Reduce Regurgitation in Infants

Mother and baby
Mother is holding a newborn baby

When infants have reflux, dysphagia, or aspiration, parents may worry about the health of their baby. It’s important to have your child seen by a doctor to evaluate the problem.

With these conditions, a doctor may suggest using a thickened baby formula. But it’s important for parents to learn how to thicken baby formula the right way to ensure a safe product for their baby.

Being a parent can be difficult at times. We have articles that have all the tips, tricks, and advice to help parents. Read more articles on our blog today!

5 Reasons Why a Child Care Job Might be Just Right for You

Did you know that 23% of all kids under 5 are in some form of childcare? Whether you place your child in daycare for socialization or because you work full time, childcare has countless benefits.

The benefits aren’t just for the children. Many adults become childcare professionals because they love working with children and find it to be a rewarding career path.  If you’ve got a talent for working with kids, then you may be able to turn it into a fulfilling career.

In this post, we’re going to tell you some of the signs that a childcare job could be right for you. There’s nothing easy about child care, which is why it’s so important that the right people provide this service. Keep reading and find out if becoming a childcare professional is the right move.

1. There’s an Industry Shortage

Across the country, there’s a massive shortage of child care workers. If you’re looking for a job where you’ll be in demand, never struggling to find work, then this is a great place to be.

There will always be children to look after and parents who need help while they’re at work. Using services that connect parents with child care professionals, like https://mochildcareaware.org/, makes it easy to find work. This kind of stability is rare in any industry.

2. Advancement Potential

Because of the number of job opportunities out there, you’re also going to have a wide range of career paths with huge advancement potential. You may start out as an independent child care worker, then get a job at a daycare that you could end up managing.

3. Flexibility

There’s also flexibility to consider. If you’re someone that places a personal emphasis on the work-life balance, then working as a childcare professional is going to be a great option.

As an independent child care worker, you’ll be able to choose the number of hours per week you want to work, who you want to work with, how much you charge, etc. It’s a great part-time job but can easily become a full-time career as well.

4. It’s Rewarding

As we alluded to earlier, being a child care worker is incredibly rewarding for someone who is naturally good with kids. You’ll be able to watch children learn and develop from a young age while helping parents in need of assistance.

The early years of a child’s life are crucial for their development as older children, adolescents, and teens. You can take great solace knowing that you played an important role in a child’s early life when you become a childcare professional.

5. It’s Fun

Daycare
A young woman is taking care of a toddler

Aside from the personal gratification that you’ll get from the work, you’ll actually enjoy going to work every day because you’ll have fun. Being able to go to work and laugh, play games, and teach kids new things makes getting up for work a joy.

Find Your Ideal Child Care Job

Now that you know why going into child care is a great option, it’s time to find your ideal child care job. Whether you decide to work on your own or at a daycare facility, you’re going to have a lucrative, fun, and rewarding career as a child care worker.

If you enjoyed this post, come back for more on family, health, and wellness.

 

 

Daycare vs. Nursery School: What are the Differences?

As the parent of a toddler, you know better than anyone how fast time flies! One minute your little one is learning how to walk, and the next, it’s time to start choosing daycare or nursery school.

Unless you understand the difference between the two, making a decision can be tricky. Fortunately, we’re here to make it easier by explaining them and their differences. Keep reading to learn more about daycare vs. nursery school to make the best choice for your child.

 

What Is Daycare?

Daycare is a type of childcare where parents and guardians can leave their children during the day. Daycare staff supervise and engage with the kids, helping them learn and play. Hours are often flexible at these facilities, and they’re open all year.

Children aged as young as six weeks can attend daycare until they’re about five or six. From then until middle school, most centers offer before- and after-school care options.

 

The Best Daycare Benefits

If you need someone to watch your child while you’re at work, choosing a daycare is ideal. That’s because these facilities provide constant, all-day care. There are many benefits, too, including,

  • Kids typically don’t need to be potty-trained
  • Socialization with different age groups
  • Longer and more flexible hours for parents

 

What Is Nursery School?

Children
Children are going together to nursery school

A nursery school, sometimes called a preschool, is education-based. Parents and guardians can leave their children to learn at nursery school during the day. Because there is a curriculum, you can expect the teachers to have an early childhood education background.

Nursery schools function as schools, so they don’t operate all year or for long hours. Programs are often designed for kids aged three to five, making the age groups more limited. Check out a nursery school guide to learn more.

 

The Best Nursery School Benefits

If you want your child to get a head start on their education, consider choosing nursery school. It’s the best way to prepare them for kindergarten and beyond. Plus, there are many benefits, like,

  • Socialization with similar-aged kids
  • The staff has academic backgrounds
  • Exposure to structured school routines

 

Which One Is Right for Your Child?

So, should you choose daycare or nursery school? Ultimately, there is no right answer. Instead, your choice depends on your toddler and your family’s unique circumstances.

If you simply need childcare for your little one while you’re occupied during the day, the best daycare may be all you need. On the other hand, if you want to get a jump on your child’s education, nursery school is the perfect option. No matter your choice, both can support your toddler’s developmental milestones.

 

Choose Between Daycare vs. Nursery School

Now that you understand the difference between daycare vs. nursery school, making a decision should be easier. You can’t go wrong with either one, but we suggest choosing whichever suits your family better. 

Are you interested in additional parenting articles like this one? Browse around our website to find more!

 

How to Calculate the Compensation Value for a NEC Lawsuit

The growing number of NEC cases across the country is a cause of concern for parents of premature babies. Necrotizing enterocolitis (NEC) is a severe gastrointestinal infection that can lead to dire medical issues or even death in young babies. As a parent, you can file a claim against the formula manufacturer for harm to your baby. It indicates their negligence for failing to warn the consumers about the inherent risks of NEC associated with feeding their infant with cow milk-based baby formula. Thankfully, you can receive handsome financial compensation by presenting your claim in the right manner. But everything boils down to finding the right lawyer and calculating the optimal value of compensation for your NEC lawsuit. Here are some tips you can follow to get the amount you deserve for your little one’s suffering.

Holding the manufacturer responsible

Baby formula manufacturers conduct intensive research and studies before launching their products on the market. Research is a part of the legal obligation of brands as a duty of care toward consumers. It means they are fully aware of the fact that the product leads to a risk of NEC in premature babies. But not providing proper warning on the product labels puts them on the wrong side of the law. They probably neglect it to ensure that the sales do not get affected or do it due to sheer carelessness. Whatever the reason, consumers can suffer due to the intentional or unintentional negligence of the manufacturers. Their failure to warn about NEC risks gives consumers a valid reason to hold them responsible for the ill-health or death of their babies. They can rightfully bring a lawsuit against the company and claim compensation for the expenses and losses.

Calculating the average settlement for NEC lawsuits

Since leading brands and companies are involved in NEC cases, the average settlement can run in millions. However, the amount may differ from case to case depending on several factors. You must consult specialist lawyers for baby formula lawsuits to calculate the rightful compensation value for your child. Typically, it depends on the individual damages your baby suffers from with the formulas. For example, the length of time a premature baby experiences pain or survives after contracting NEC can contribute to the damage award. Several times, the amount depends on the discretion of the jury issuing the verdict. The damages are more in cases involving permanent long-term damages or death due to evident reasons.

Considering severe cases of NEC

Mother
Mother is holding newborn while sleeping on her chest

If your child sustains severe damage due to NEC, you can expect a larger payout as compensation for the baby formula lawsuit. The treatment is longer and more expensive in such cases, so the medical bills are bigger. Moreover, the risk of long-term complications is greater. The child has to bear more pain and suffering due to the severity of the condition. Additionally, the chances of death are greater in these cases. Here are the key components of potential damages in product liability lawsuits like baby formula cases-

  •   Cost of past and future medical treatment
  •   Past and future pain and suffering
  •   Future out of pocket expenses
  •   Compensation for future physical disabilities
  •   Loss of consortium for patents while raising a baby with long-term health complications
  •    The emotional trauma of the family
  •   Missed time from work while taking care of the sick baby

Parents can claim compensation for wrongful death if their baby dies due to severe NEC complications. These cases have additional factors that increase the claim value. Obviously, you can expect bigger payouts for losing your baby. The compensation value will also include damages for trauma and grief over losing a child, the amount the child could have earned in the future, and payment for the loss of the closeness they would have developed with the baby.

Baby formula claims are often high-value ones because they involve renowned brands and corporations. But there is always a risk of losing your claim because these companies often have seasoned legal teams to defend them from consumer lawsuits. However, giving up on the compensation you deserve for your sick or dead baby is the last thing you should do. You must try your best to claim damages for your expenses, pain and suffering, and losses due to the disability or death of your little one. The best way to do it is by collaborating with a legal expert specializing in such cases. Since they have experience in dealing with corporations, they can do their best to prove the claim and get the compensation and justice your baby deserves. 

8 Fun Facts for Kids: Share These to Amaze and Get Your Kids Talking

Adults and kids alike love fun facts. The world is full of weird and wonderful phenomena and as a parent, it’s your job to teach your children all about it. It’s a big bonus that sharing these fun facts will help you to relate to your kids as you discover the world together. 

Ready to dive in? Check out these 8 fun facts for kids that will get the giggles going and the conversations rolling. 

 

1. Humans Fart Quite Fast

Wondering how to be the cool parent? Talk about farts — they always get kids giggling. And now, you can throw a bit of knowledge in with the laughter. Humans fart 14 times every day on average, and these gusts of smelly air come cruising out of the body at 7 mph. Your kids will love this fact.

 

2. Snails Love Sleep 

Animal facts for kids are usually about tigers and lions, but this fun snail fact takes the cake. If your kids love to take naps then they’ll enjoy knowing that snails are the ultimate nappers. In fact, some snails nap for up to three years!

 

3. Use Crickets to Tell the Temperature 

Everyone is accustomed to the sounds of crickets chirping in the night. But did you know that you can use these sounds to estimate the temperature? Simply count how many times a cricket chirps in a second and you’ve got it. 

 

4. It’s Not Only Fingerprints That are Unique 

Perhaps your children already know that we all have unique fingerprints. But did they know that our tongue prints are unique too? Imagine searching a crime scene for tongue prints — that’ll get the kids laughing. 

 

5. A Tree Called the ‘Idiot Fruit Tree’ Exists

Put a creative spin on the classic sibling rivalry insults with this fun fact. The Idiot Fruit Tree is a real tree that grows in the Daintree Forest in Australia. This is a loose translation of its scientific name. It also goes by the name Green Dinosaur, which is pretty cool too. 

 

6. New Zealand Has the Town With the Longest Name 

Flag
The New Zealand flag is represented

How about a fun fact and a tongue twister all rolled up in one? New Zealand’s town ‘Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipuka‘ is the longest name of a town in the world! It has 85 characters and will likely take you and your children the whole day to figure out how to pronounce it. 

 

7. The Human Diet Includes Some Insects 

This is definitely one of those kids’ facts that will make the little ones squeal in disgust. On average, humans eat up to 70 different insects and 10 spiders while sleeping. These little critters crawl in while we’re in a deep slumber and end up as a late-night snack. 

 

8. Orbeez Weren’t Always Toys

What are Orbeez? If you don’t know, your kids will tell you! These fun toys were invented to help retain water in the soil so that plants could grow better. Now they’re a much-loved instrument of fun for kids everywhere. 

 

Share These Fun Facts for Kids

Which of these fun facts for kids will your children love most? Will they cackle at the fart fact or spend the day trying to wrap their tongue around the longest town name in the world? Only one way to find out! 

If you enjoyed this post then you’ll love the rest of our content, tailored to parents just like you! Keep exploring for more. 

 

How to Broach the Topic of a Cancer Diagnosis With Your Child

Children perceive the world very differently from us. They have over-active imaginations that help them form their own version of how life works, at least until they grow old enough to understand more complex concepts. This can make it difficult to explain something serious, like a cancer diagnosis.

Cancer is a disease that can be hard to deal with. There are treatments out there that make survival possible, but there is no denying that overcoming cancer requires a fight. This fight affects everyone around you, including your family. You will have to explain what is going on to your children; however, this can feel like another mountain that you have to climb. This article will go through the steps you need to take when it comes to broaching the topic of a cancer diagnosis with a child.

 

Talk Together

Your partner is the first person you will tell about your diagnosis. They will have to deal with it in their own way; however, they are going to be your rock during the upcoming battle. Therefore, it is important to keep them involved with every step to best inform them on how to deal with your diagnosis.

A child views their parents as a team. You may disagree with your partner on things as you go through life, but kids realize that you are always on the same page regarding the big issues. That is why they will feel more at ease if you begin talking to them about cancer as a team. What’s more, this initial conversation may bring up some difficult questions that require you to think on your feet. Having an ally can provide your child with the answers to a question that you may struggle with and vice versa.

 

Stress How It Is not Their Fault

Younger children internalize the events around them and still believe that they are the main characters during their life journey. This belief system does not disappear until they reach their teenage years when they start to realize that the universe is random, and they gain a sense of empathy. Unfortunately, this attitude means that they can often believe that anything bad that happens within the home directly results from something they have done.

Therefore, the main thing that you should bring up in your initial discussion is how this happened. You do not need to go into the exact scientific detail, just cover the basics enough so that they understand that it was nothing they could have caused or prevented. Also, it is important to finish this part of the conversation by stating aloud that the cancer is not their fault.

 

Explain That It Isn’t Contagious

Cancer is scary no matter how much you understand it. Illness is a concept that children know and have come into contact with before, though very different. You will have stressed the importance of staying healthy and the role of germs when it comes to getting sick, which is why your child may be frightened about catching cancer themselves.

The next step in your initial conversation should involve putting these concerns to rest. You will have given them a rudimentary explanation of how you became ill, so try to reiterate how this disease cannot be passed from person to person. Your child is likely to have more questions later on, which is why you should leave your first conversation here. Give them time to mull over what they have learned and remind them that you are always there to answer any further questions.

 

Explain Changes Before They Happen

A cancer diagnosis is going to change your life no matter how advanced the spread. You may have to stop doing weekly activities, make frequent trips to the doctor, take time off work, or undergo bed rest as you receive treatment. These changes are necessary; however, they will not go unnoticed by your child.

As you go through the treatment procedures, it is a good idea to explain what is going to happen and why. This will give your child the chance to prepare for the change and provide them with context. Again, children have a different understanding of the world to us, and routine is important to them. Try to make sure they can perceive these changes correctly.

 

Treatment

Cancer treatments will differ depending on your type and the severity. However, this treatment is necessary at any stage to cure you. The treatment for cancer takes time, which means that you will be dealing with the side effects for a few months.

A child may not understand medicine completely, but they are aware of its role. That is why you may find it beneficial to talk openly about your treatment. It will help you to understand it better and provide something for your child to perceive as a balance to all the negativity surrounding your illness.

In fact, you can use resources from Ezra to learn all about treatments and diagnosis tools to lessen your own fear about the process. This means less fear for your child to pick up on. You can normalize terms like chemotherapy or spine MRI to build up a positive association between these treatments and your health.

 

Remind Them That They Are Not Alone

Mother
Mother and daughter are hugging

The scariest part of cancer for a child is the fear that they will lose you. There is always going to be media surrounding this type of illness, a lot of which will understandably portray it in a negative light. What’s more, your family may have come into contact with someone else that has unfortunately lost their battle with cancer.

The best thing you can do for your child during this time is reiterate that they are loved and will never be left alone. It will also serve to ground you as you continue to move forward.

 

Conclusion

Discussing a cancer diagnosis with a child is a long and complex process that cannot be covered in one article. Hopefully, these tips have given you the tools to start the journey. Everyone will have a different experience, but it is most important to stay strong.

 

 

When Dads Care

Giving your child a shot at a great future is a lot easier than you think!

While moms are indispensable, a caring dad is the best thing that can happen to a child. Child experts have traditionally placed a major focus on a mother’s role in the lives of children and tended to ignore a father’s contribution. What a tragedy. Thankfully this is changing as research is making it increasingly clear that caring and involved fathers make a massive contribution to their children’s well-being, self-esteem, emotional intelligence and sexual behaviour, as well as giving them an excellent chance of flourishing in adulthood.

And the good news is that dads can do this in very simple ways as they actively love and care for their children, and by just being who they are – men!

The amazing thing is that it is the simplest of activities that fathers engage in with their children that have some of the most lasting effects on them. At a recent talk I gave to prospective parents, a young father-to-be came up to me afterwards and recounted how his father had never shown him any affection as a child and how he had “gone off the rails” as a teenager. He told me that his father had bought him only one ice cream during the course of his childhood and that this had greatly distressed him in later years.

Another of the simplest things which impact children is a father’s touch. Children have a need to be touched by a father. Early in life, children who experience love and care by being held and spoken to by their fathers develop a very specific and unique relationship with them. A dad’s touch, with his strong hands and somewhat hairy arms, is very different from a mother’s touch, and babies and children who experience this touch have a better chance of growing up to become well adjusted, emotionally healthy adults. A father who openly shows physical affection to his children helps contribute to their intellectual, physical and sexual development.

Boys who are touched by their fathers in a healthy and caring way show a lower tendency to become sexually promiscuous and rebellious in their teens and adulthood, and girls who experience warm, healthy physical affection from their dads are much less likely to become “boy crazy” to satisfy their need to be touched and for male approval. So, when the village idiot comes calling, your teenage daughter is far less likely to crave acceptance from him because she’s been getting enough approval from the most significant man in her life – her dad. Her relationship with her father, therefore, becomes a frame of reference for how she relates to other men all through her life.  

Skin hunger – the lack of physical contact – can have a dramatic effect on a child. In its most severe form, it can result in death. Decades ago, infants in orphanages in the Soviet Union were reported to have died simply as a result of not being touched. But the positive side of this coin is that infants and children who are touched appropriately and regularly flourish physically, emotionally and intellectually.

As well as the need to be touched by a father, children have a need to have a father play with them. Sometimes the last thing you want to do when you arrive home after work plays with kids, but taking five minutes to chase and tickle them is worth it in the long run. (Fast fact: Children up to seven years of age have two ambitions in life – to be chased and to be tickled by their father!)

Dads play very different games with their children from the games mothers play. And the games come to fathers quite naturally. No one tells them to play with their children in a certain way – they just do it without really thinking about it.

Family is spending time together on the bed

While mothers engage in gentle, nurturing activities, fathers play games with their children that involve getting them excited, very often including the elements of risk and fear. A typical father-child game would involve a father raising his hands like claws above his head, taking giant steps toward the child and growling, “Here comes the bear! It’s going to eat you up!” 

The child invariably turns tail and scampers away squealing with delight. Once cornered, he or she is usually scooped into their father’s arms where they are supposedly eaten by the bear, something which turns out to be ticklish and immensely enjoyable for the child. And every time the child experiences being caught, their faith in their father’s love is strengthened.

Children who are exposed to such games learn a number of valuable lessons. They learn to distinguish between reality and illusion – they know their dad’s not really a bear. They also enjoy the thrill of being scared while knowing that they’re not really going to be hurt, so they learn to deal with a negative emotion (fear of the “bear”) in a supportive and positive environment – something which proves invaluable when they make their own way in the world and have to face real fears that come across their paths.

Another lesson they learn is how to read their father’s face and to respond accordingly. Dads often quickly tire of children’s games (just try keeping up with an enthusiastic toddler and see how long you last), but the positive outcome is that, from as young as six months old, children have been found to be able to read the expressions on their fathers’ faces and can tell when the game is over. These children learn how to bring themselves down from the emotional high they were on as a result of being chased, causing them to grow up with a higher level of emotional self-control and emotional intelligence. Now emotional intelligence is becoming a major currency in the business world. Studies have shown that, of people with the same IQ, education, skills and experience, it’s the person with the highest level of emotional intelligence (EQ) who will get ahead of the pack in the world of work. And fathers play a role in helping to develop their children’s EQ.

Fathers also typically throw their children in the air and catch them or encourage their children to jump from the bed or couch while they stand waiting to catch them, simple games which involve elements of risk and which require the child to learn to trust their fathers. Watch your child the first time you encourage her to jump into your arms. She won’t be too keen but, as she comes to understand that you’re going to catch her, she comes to love it! By contrast, watch a child who has never been exposed to this type of game. They are quite obviously terrified.

Another important way that fathers strengthen the bond between themselves and their children is through the use of secret signs of affection. This can take the form of a squeezed hand or a wink across a room to your child, giving them a sense of well-being and security that they get from experiencing the invisible bond that exists between them and their father.

Father
A father is spending quality time, together with his sons, fishing  at the lake

Children thrive on attention and approval from their fathers. As a child grows up, they will frequently say those immortal words, “Look, daddy!” as they attempt to perform some or other activity. This is an expression of their desire to obtain approval and recognition from their fathers, and all this requires is the necessary attention directed at them (probably for no longer than a few seconds at a time) and an appropriate comment such as, “That’s wonderful, sweetheart!” or “Well done, son!”

Of course, one has to be realistic about this – you wouldn’t give the same attention to your child while driving your car as you would in your back yard, and explaining to your child why there is a good and a bad time to focus on him or her is also a valuable lesson for them. It helps them learn that, contrary to their belief, they are not the centre of the Universe and that sometimes they have to delay gratification in the interests of other people or things.

We live in a very success orientated world. While there’s nothing wrong with that, we fathers, unfortunately, tend to view success as something which we achieve outside the home. When we broaden our view of success to include not only that which we achieve in our work but also that which we achieve in our families, we find fulfilment and meaning we didn’t realise we were missing. After all, what are we really working for if it isn’t to give our families the best possible life?

Don’t make the mistake of losing yourself in your career in the interest of giving your family a certain lifestyle when they would rather have you around instead. A good formula to apply is: spend half the money and twice the time on your children and you will experience ten times the happiness as you see your children fly higher than you thought possible!

Author

Alan Hosking is the author of What nobody tells a new father, the new dad’s guide to pregnancy and parenthood. He has helped first-time and experienced dads become more involved parents for two decades.