In the past 10 years, I have given birth to five kids - 3 of those in the last 4 years. Friends, my body is tired! I shared recently on Instagram how it took me almost 2 months after the birth of our daughter for me to get my wedding rings back on - 2 MONTHS! I'm not sure I even had to take them off for my first two children.
I wish I could say that my body is bouncing right back from Baby #5. It's not! My thighs touch in ways they never did before. Things sag that really shouldn't and the dreaded "mom pooch" has taken over my once flat abs. I see the marks that pregnancy and motherhood has left on my body every day when I look in the mirror. Thankfully, I'm not a celebrity so nobody is writing columns on how I'm still carrying around the baby weight, but that doesn't mean that it isn't depressing for me.
In fact, getting dressed became the most upsetting part of my day. I refused to wear maternity clothes, but every day I would try on countless pairs of paints to find one pair that would zip up. I lived in my yoga pants because the idea of searching for a pair of jeans that didn't make me look like a stuffed sausage was just too daunting. And, every top seemed to accentuate "the pooch".
So, one Saturday morning I snapped. I broke down into tears and told my husband that I wasn't going anywhere and I was getting rid of all of my clothes. Mr. Frugal was afraid that I actually meant that I was giving away all my clothes, but really I just needed them out of my closet. I began trying on things and it was probably the hardest few hours I've spent recently. I tried on every single thing in my closet. I purged several things and began making a pile of the things I hoped to wear again some day....and the pile grew!
But, the good news is that everything in my closet now fits. I don't have to spend precious time searching for pants that button or tops that don't make me cringe. I can love my body where it is right now without the constant reminders of how small I used to be or where I hope to be again... eventually.
That was huge for me! Every day I was getting on the scale hoping for a big change, but now I'm just enjoying my little baby and focusing on the things I can do. I still eat a lot because I'm constantly starving since I'm nursing, but I do try to eat better (just ignore those dark chocolate M&M's in the pantry). I exercise when I can and I'm not beating myself up about it.
Do I have work to do? Absolutely! But, I'm taking it one day at a time and choosing to love myself through the whole process! Hopefully, I'll see those clothes again, but in the meantime I'm removing them from my life because they make me feel worse about myself as a person. I think that's a good lesson to apply to all areas of my life!
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